Do Not Grow Weary

Been awhile since I have updated anyone (other than close friends and family) but we are still trudging along through this adoption process.  It is difficult to work around my hubby's schedule, that is what causes a lot of hold ups and uncertainties.  We rest in knowing that God has coordinated these events to line us up with the exact child(ren) at the exact time He has planned for us. 

One major frustration is the lack of control we have.  If the entire process was all based on us needing to do certain tasks and fill out paperwork and turn it in, we would be done in no time.  But, we are so dependent on other people, many complete strangers, to fill out piles of paperwork we need done in order to keep moving on.  We send away papers and then they are not done right and we have to redo them.  We are given dates to come in for appointments and then canceled because they are missing a piece of information. Each denied paper is more time and sometimes, money, spent. 

This past week has been so frustrating and it makes you want to just give up and forget about it.  I remind myself that there is a child completely dependent on us to stay the course and be his family.  He has lost control of his life and needs someone to come and give him a home.  I wish we had a picture of him so every time I get frustrated I could just stare at the eyes of this child and remember what this is all for because it is easy to forget in all the piles of paperwork that there is a human being waiting behind it all.  We will continue on and move through these frustrations for our little 'unknown' half way across the world.    

Pray for families around you who are adopting.  It can be a very scary, lonely, frustrating, and confusing process, but will be worth every second, penny, and emotional moment spent through it.

Just a couple of the files we have.

 



 

 

'And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.'

Galatians 6:9

Adoption & Weight?

I recently lost 40 pounds and am finally back to my healthy weight.  It has been 4 years trying to lose the weight I gained while pregnant with Abby (btw, pregnant ladies, you are eating for 2, but not 2 full grown adults. I learned that the hard way)  I wanted to share some of my reasons and motivation that helped me lose the weight and hopefully can encourage those going through the same struggle.

First, for my husband.  He works hard and stays in great shape for me and I felt ashamed that I did not do the same for him.  It had a very negative effect on our relationship.  I was pretty down, didn't have much energy, and certainly did not feel attractive.  My goal was for him to return to a more energetic, positive, and confident woman, which, he did!

Second, for my kids.  There were so many times I would waste the day away just sitting around.  The girls would want to go outside and I would make up a lame excuse why they couldn't.  I knew I wasn't doing my best as a mother and wanted to do better.  Now I have much more patience with them.  I am up and active going out and having fun with my girls.

Third, for our adoption.  Yes, some countries will not let you adopt if you are over a certain BMI.  I would have been mortified if we were unable to adopt the child(ren) we wanted because I was overweight, what a shame.  I also knew I struggled to keep up with the 2 kids I already had and wanted to make sure I was physically ready to take on whatever child(ren) we get. 

Last, for me.  I have always struggled with being content with the body I had, even from a very young age.  I was usually in pretty good shape and still was not satisfied, so imagine how it felt with 40 extra pounds on.  It is so frustrating standing in a closet full of clothes and not being able to fit in half of them, now I get excited about the combination of outfits I get to choose from.  My knees would ache at the end of the day, now they feel great.  I finally appreciate the body God gave me.  I am not a stick figure girl, God gave me a larger build and I am finally okay with that.

There is no 'quick, easy, fix' for weight loss.  It requires some change and action.  I was able to do a couple workout programs at home (P90X & Insanity) when the girls were down for a nap.  I would dread the workout, but afterwards you feel amazing.  I was also drinking Shakeology, which really helped me get all the nutrients I needed in a day.  I had lots of energy and it helped take away my cravings.  I also joined a challenge group, which really helped keep my going.  I knew I would have to share with everyone what I ate, how much water I drank, if I had worked out, and I definitely did not want to be the 'slacker' of the group.  I am thankful for the women who kept me going and encouraged me along this journey.

If you feel the way I did then contact me and we can work together to get you healthy.  Don't go another day feeling that way, life is so much better when your body is the way it should be.  My goal is to help women feel better so they have the energy to be the best wives and mothers they can be.  It is worth all the hard work and dedication.

Before: July 2012, 210lbs

 

 

After: April 2013, 170lbs 

  

Love of Money

I normally make myself wait 24 hours after I am mad about something before I share it with anyone else, but sometimes it is good to have a little fire behind you.  I at least did my Insanity workout before blogging to get some of my frustrations out.  So here is what is bothering me...

Someone kindly asked me how our adoption was coming along.  I excitedly began sharing and in the middle of it someone walked by and sarcastically said under their breath, "It'd be cheaper to just have one of your own."  Yup, not joking.  It literally felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.  So, here is what I think about that comment...

Imagine if the current child you had, in some weird scenario, was removed from your home and shipped to an orphanage.  You would have to go through the typical adoption process/costs in order to get that child back.  Would you throw your hands up and say, "Oh well, better just get pregnant and have another one, don't want to go through the hassle."  Of course not!  You would be up at night praying for that child, you would be cutting costs wherever you could to save money, you would be selling possessions, denying yourself certain luxuries you normally would enjoy, and you would be doing everything in your power to get across the world to your child as fast as you could.  You would not want your sweet child to wake up another morning without a loving hug from you and a warm breakfast on the table. You would not want them to go through their day scared, lonely, and depressed about what their future holds for them. You would not want them going to bed one more night without a tender kiss on the forehead and being tucked in by you.  Well, this is no different.  There is a child across the world that is ours and we will do everything we can to go and get him.

I have a very hard time hearing people say, "Oh, we would love to adopt, but we can't afford it" as they roll away in their brand new SUV.  I understand, there are some families who legitimately cannot afford it, but a lot of us can.  What if that child was standing in front of you, staring you in the eyes, could you tell them, "Sorry, but you are just not worth the money...we really want a new car, a pool, and a few more family vacations, etc., etc.."?  We are holding on so tightly to things that will just burn up.  Are they really worth it?  Over a human life?  On the day I die, I don't want to be surrounded by a ton of meaningless 'stuff'. I would rather be surrounded by loved ones and some of those loved ones would be orphans I gladly gave 'stuff' up for to give them a loving home and a future.

Lord, help me to love people more than I love money. 

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. 1 Tim. 6:10

Adoption & Marriage

I was reading my most recent adoption magazine I received in the mail and as always I flip right to the back to look at the sweet faces of teens/children needing a family.  The first one I read was about a teen girl who was described as outgoing, fun, and likes to joke around.  It ended with the fact that her adoptive parents were relinquishing their parental rights and she was being put back up for adoption.  My heart broke.  I looked at this beautiful girl and could not imagine the hurt she has been through in her short life on this Earth.  Not only was she abandoned by her birth parents, but now by her adoptive parents. 

This made me think about our future adoption.  When we adopt a child, that will be our forever child.  We would never throw in the towel and send away our two biological daughters, so why would it be any different with an adopted child?  Don't get me wrong, I am sure some situations are very hard and these families tried their best, but for our family we are committing no matter how hard it gets, that is our child and we will never give up.  I am so thankful for a Savior who has adopted me and will not 'relinquish' my adoption, no matter how much I fail Him.  Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel.  God adopted me into His family when I was 21.  There was nothing I did to earn it.  He sought me.  I was as selfish as can be and just wanted to live a fun, American dream life with a little bit of church on Sundays.  That was until I heard a gospel message and my life flipped upside down and my thoughts, dreams, and desires completely changed.  I had been adopted into a forever family.

"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" Romans 8:15

"And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any [man] pluck them out of my hand." John 10:38

Marriage is also a beautiful picture of the gospel.  My heart breaks every time I hear of another marriage ending in divorce.  Marriage is a representation of Christ and His relationship with the Church, His bride.  Christ would never 'divorce' the Church.  Christ would never abandon me, so why would I think it was ever right to abandon my husband.  A life-long marriage is a glorious display of the gospel to our children.  We have forgotten what 'love' is.  It is not a feeling that comes and goes.  Love is patient (even when are spouse does super annoying things) and kind (even when our spouse is not being kind to us or in a bad mood); love does not envy (will not compare other people to my spouse and wish I had 'better') or boast (will not dwell on all the things I think I do right, but instead compliment my spouse on what he does well); it is not arrogant (will not compare myself to my spouse and think I am better than him)   or rude (will not be short and snotty to my spouse). It does not insist on its own way (the needs of my spouse take priority to my own); it is not irritable (will not be anxiously waiting for my spouse to 'set me off') or resentful  (I will not hold a grudge against my spouse but forgive him) it does not rejoice at wrongdoing (will not take pleasure when my spouse screws up, even if he was warned by myself about something), but rejoices with the truth (sometimes my spouse may tell me something about myself I will not want to hear, but if it is true and something I need to work on I will listen and not get defensive.). Love bears all things (when my spouse is burdened, I am burdened), believes all things (trust in the truth of God's word and encourage my spouse in his faith), hopes all things (rely on God to get us through whatever comes our way), endures all things (will be at my spouses side until the day that one of us dies) 1 Cor 13:4-7

Marriage and adoption are both created by God and meant to be life-long commitments.  Before you get married or decide to adopt; pray, seek God, pray some more, and then commit to endure all things.
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Who Needs Fundraisers?

Obviously, a concern Dan and I have is paying for this adoption.  We definitely don't have an extra $30,000 sitting around.  We were reminded Saturday night that God has this under control.

I dropped Dan and Abby off at a local carnival down the road from us and gave them all the cash I had on me for them to go on the rides.  Lydia and I went across the street to Walmart to pick up a few things.  After loading Lydia and a couple bags back into the car, I turned around to push my cart back to the cart return area.  I noticed a woman standing by the closest cart return who looked dirty, sad, and like she needed help.  The Holy Spirit was burdening me to go talk to her.  Unfortunately, my selfishness got in the way, as usual, and I went to the further cart return to avoid this woman.  Just as I returned to my car I hear, "Ma'am".  I ended up talking to this woman for quite awhile.  She had a sad story, showed me her bills that were over due, and even her 5 month pregnant belly.  I told her I had no cash on me.  I told her I would go across the street, get money from my husband, and then bring it back to her.  She told me people had been promising to come back and help and not a single person had returned for her. She wanted to follow me.  So, we get in our vehicles and I called my husband to let him know we were on our way.

Dan was waiting in line with Abby to go on another ride when he got my call.  My husband has the most giving heart of anyone I know.  He immediately told Abby that they were done with the rides.  He said, "Someone needs our help.  God gives us money to enjoy, but also gives us money to help other people.  We got to enjoy a couple rides, now lets go help someone."  That didn't go over too well with our 3 year old, but she quickly stopped crying once she saw me standing with this woman.  We were able to share the Gospel with this woman and give her just a few dollars short of what she needed to pay off her bill.  My 3 year old was able to witness this whole encounter, I'm praying seeds were planted in her little heart.

We got in our car and drove home.  I got the girls ready for bed and then came downstairs to Dan with tears in his eyes.  I asked him what was wrong and then he handed me a piece of mail.  I was looking at a check, which we had no idea we would be getting, that was for 30x more than what we gave to the stranger we met earlier.  At that moment, we knew God would take care of this adoption.  You cannot out give God.

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

So it Begins...

We completed our preliminary application and the formal application.  Some questions were so hard to answer.  'Are you willing to adopt a child with a physical problem' or 'emotional problem'?  They give you two options, 'yes' or 'no'.  Those questions can have such HUGE ranges that saying no would eliminate a lot of children as options.  I have no problem adopting a child with a physical problem that is not life threatening or not so severe that we would have to care for him the rest of our lives. 

We also checked that we would be willing to adopt a sibling group.  I have always had four names picked out for my 'kids' as I was in college; Abigail, Lydia, Micah, and Josiah.  Who knows, this adoption may bring us a little Micah and Josiah.  The unknown is soooo frightening, but yet exciting at the same time. 

We have put off adopting for years because we could not decided on what country to adopt from, oh, and I got pregnant with Lydia. :) We still don't know what country.  We have been accepted for Bulgaria, Uganda, South Korea, Hong Kong, Ghana, Ethiopia, and the Philippines.  We are so open...all we know for sure is we want at least 1 boy and as young as possible.  It will be amazing to see when all is said and done, who exactly we welcome to our family. 

Dear Lord,
I pray you would be with the mother and father of our child.  I don't know if our son has been created yet or if he has already been born.  Protect him during the pregnancy.  Protect his little life if he is being cared for by someone right now.  We trust him to your during this time.  Amen.

Trying the Blog Thing

I am soooo not a writer, but I feel the need to record the journey our family is about to embark on.  Don't really care if anyone follows this blog. I am doing this for one person. That person is my future son.  I want him to read this one day and realize all the time spent, love offered, prayers said, effort used, and miracles performed by God that took place to bring him home to our family.  We are about to begin our adoption journey.  I have no face in mind, no country, no age, not even a name, but only a burden in my heart to adopt a little boy.  God knows his face, name, age, and what country he is in.  I am trusting in Him to unite us as a family in His timing.

Dear God, you are in charge of this adoption.  You had this planned before time and help us to rest in that knowledge as we begin this long, scary, uncertain, expensive, but SO incredibly worthy adventure.  We love you and love our future son that you have prepared for us. Amen.